


Popgoth

by ErdaErzsebet



Category: NSYNC
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-16
Updated: 2014-11-16
Packaged: 2018-02-25 16:26:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2628323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErdaErzsebet/pseuds/ErdaErzsebet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story is about a girl named Helena, who is in love with her boss, Joshua. But her best friend, Bryan, is also in love with her. When Helena and Joshua come together, Bryan thinks up a dirty plan to get his hands on Helena. Will Joshua and Helena be together happily ever after in the end? Come and read it and find out!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Popgoth

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work in process, as I am still working on it as we speak, but I am kind of slow with updates at the moment, sorry.
> 
> I do not own NSYNC, James Deen or Stoya characters that are being used. The only character which is mine, is Helena. For your enjoyment!

I stared at myself in my vanity mirror, blank expression painted onto my features. My high school pop music was blaring from my computer speakers. Whenever I felt like this, I needed to listen to that music. No exception. I uttered a sigh, grimaced at my reflection and started putting make-up on my face and changed into the short black velvet and lace dress I had laid out on my bed, quickly lacing my latex boots. Checking the clock, I realized I didn’t have too much time to get to my job at the moment, but if I went by bus, I might just make it. Switching off the stereo and scratching my cat between the ears, I raced downstairs and out the door, only barely able to bolt for the bus that almost drove off in front of my face. I tried to catch my breath while I paid the bus driver. I stayed where I was, as the whole bus was full of people already.   
When I reached my stop, I tried to hurry up a little more, I was sure Joshua was going to go ballistic on my ass if I was late one more time. Fishing the keys of the coffee shop out of my pocket, I quickly opened up shop, switching all the coffee machines on. Trotting into the cooler in the cellar, I quickly went to get the muffins, donuts and other baked goods I had been baking all night long yesterday to display them in the showcases all around the shop and on the countertops. Only three minutes later my boss walked in, phone in hand. When he saw me ready behind the counter, he almost dropped his phone and just stared in utter surprise. I turned a bright red and chuckled at the display before me and crossed my arms in front of my chest, pretending to be offended.  
“What, you think I would let you down again?”  
“Well, yes. Because this is the first time in three weeks you have been on time. No, better even, you were in before I even was! Tell me, what kind of medication did your shrink describe you?” I playfully hit him on the arm while he settled into his place behind the counter next to me. His smile made my heart flutter, but I quickly shook it off. We were two totally different people, that was never going to work. Besides, he was my boss! I couldn’t fall in love with someone that paid my wages. That would just be too risky. But I just wouldn’t admit to myself I was already in love with him. For years.   
“Actually nothing. I’m sorry for failing you so many times the last few weeks J. I have been feeling kind of crappy and I don’t really know why. I will try not to let it get to me that much anymore. I really like working for you.” I batted my eye lashes, it always worked with him and indeed, I saw his shoulders rest the slightest bit, before he put his arm around my own shoulders, ruffling my just combed hair.   
“Don’t worry, ms. Addams. I like having you as my only employee. You honestly have been the first that stayed with me for years. Other people were fed up with me and my behavior only weeks or months, if I was lucky, after they started working for me. So I think you are in dire need of an award for the employee of the century. Well, employee with the nerves of steel, let’s help these costumers that have been staring at our lusty embrace for the last thirty seconds, shall we?” I flinched when I turned my head and saw six of my regulars in front of me. I hadn’t even heard them come in, all because of Joshua’s arms. He really had to stop distracting me this much. I quickly painted on the bright smile my customers expected from me, trying to hide the blush that rose on my face quickly. I took up the orders and Joshua had started making the coffees for them, while I packed a free muffin for them all. It probably was what made them coming back, even though my boss made the best coffee ever.   
I just remembered that one of my favorite regulars would be here any time, so I started packing two bagels and an extra muffin for him already and asked Joshua if he could make a grande latte already. And I was right, not even two minutes later, there was Bryan. We were friends outside of the coffee shop, inside he always flirted with me and teased me. He loved to see how it worked up Joshua when he did, even though he didn’t mean a thing with it. I knew my boss disliked the guy a lot and if he hadn’t been such a well-paying customer, he would probably keep him out of the shop, but he couldn’t. Bryan had told me he had seen the very jealous hint in Joshua’s eyes whenever he sat foot in the building. I never believed him, because I had never seen Joshua doing that, but then again I was mostly looking at Bryan anyway. He might be my friend, but he was very pleasant to look at. When he looked up from his phone, a wide grin spread across his face and he hugged me over the counter, kissing my cheek. Immediately I heard a grunt next to me and when I looked into Bryan’s eyes, his were all amused over Joshua’s reaction. I shook my head at him and turned around to grab his things.   
“There ya go, lovely. You still coming over tonight? We’re making pizza. You can bring the Prom Queen if you want, including the cat.” Bryan quickly nodded.   
“Yep, I don’t have a long day today, Jessica is gone for the weekend though, so I might bring Squeaks. As long as mister O isn’t going to be a total asshole to him.”   
“Of course not. They have been reasonably kind to each other the last two times. And Jessica should really be home for a change. My strip monopoly is waiting for her gorgeous face.” Bryan’s grin got wider. The only thing Bryan, Jessica and I did was watching stupid children’s movies, eat bad food and annoy the hell out of our cats. And have the occasional awesome threesomes during the night. I could use his company tonight though, I still felt like crap. Whenever he was around, I felt instantly happy, same counted for his girlfriend. Bryan paid, kissed my cheek and turned back round before he walked out.   
“What time do you close up, I will pick you up with the car, I am just going to go get Squeak and I really need the car, otherwise he is going to lose it. Again. Bye dollface, see you tonight!” I waved back after I told him the closing time today. I turned around to clean up the coffee counters, because they were a complete mess, finding Joshua standing behind me with an angry expression on his face.  
“Something wrong Josh?”   
“Yes, something is definitely wrong! I just… I don’t like him coming in so often. I just don't trust the guy at all.” I sighed to hide the smile growing on my lips.  
“Dude, relax. He has been one of my best friends for years. Besides, why would you care? I am your employee, nothing more. I don’t need a second mom. I already have one and she is overprotective enough as is.”  
“Helena, you know I didn’t mean it like that. I just want to look after you while you are at work here. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”  
“No, Joshua, I had no idea what you meant. And if you want to look after me, you might want to stay around when there are strangers coming in here, instead of my best friend. Really, you should totally relax for a change. And be honest. I know how you react whenever he sets a foot in here. Bryan told me how pissed you get when he kisses my cheek, which is pretty innocent. Please don’t play dumb with me, I am not stupid.” When he kept his mouth shut, I sighed, threw my hair over my shoulders and got back to cleaning the counters. I wasn’t even in the mood to pull it out of him and was sick and tired of it. I threw my sponge and cloth in the bucket and brought it into the maintenance room. When I had wanted to go back in, Joshua was standing in the doorway and I jumped, not expecting him to be there.   
“Jesus, Josh, you scared me. What is it?” He still didn’t say anything but closed the door behind him and pulled me to him. With the door closed, it was pitch black around us all of a sudden, and my eyes needed a little time to adjust to the sudden darkness, with just a pinch of dimmed light coming in from the window over the door. His fingers started pulling at me and turned me to push me up against the door, not taking his hands away. I had no idea what he was doing and I was absolutely numbed by his fingers on my flanks. When I found the courage to look up into his eyes when I opened my mouth to ask him, his face crossed the last couple of inches between us and kissed me hard. I felt paralyzed when he let me go again, I didn’t even get the chance to act in on it. He looked away and for a second I stood there in front of him, biting my lip. Somehow I had expected this to happen and it had felt right. I pulled his face back to face mine again, I was the one to take initiative this time. Thank the gods above he started kissing me back, with his hands all over my body and in my hair. It felt like we had been standing there for just a minute, until we heard knocking on the door and angry customers. We had a lot of trouble unfastening our lips from each other and we both chuckled. Joshua reached for my hand and opened the door, pulling me back into the shop. I quickly straightened out my dress and my hair and started taking up all the orders. We had to have been away for at least fifteen minutes, we had ten regulars waiting in line. Every time our hands touched or I looked him in the eyes, I felt a hot flush cross over my face and saw a smile crossing his. This was going to be the best day at work ever.  
When the last customer finally left and we had our lunch break, he locked the door and turned around to look at me while I was cleaning up the last bits and bobs around me, refilling the cabinets with baked goods again. I grinned when his arms fastened around my waist and he pulled me up against his body, feeling his lips on my hair. He chuckled softly and when I looked up into his amused eyes, he shook his head and kissed my forehead.   
“Do you have any idea how long I had been wanting to do that? I realized it when Bryan came in for the first time. I wanted to be as close to you as he got, but I didn’t dare, being your boss and all. But when you said I had to be honest… I just couldn’t find the words, so I decided to show you how I felt instead. I hope you are not mad at me for it.” I laughed and turned around in his arms, tip toeing to kiss him on his lips.   
“Are you nuts? This is everything I have wanted since I walked in because I needed a job. I never dared because I thought we were way too different. Bryan has been telling me how jealous you reacted ever since the beginning. Yes, I am close to him, but I’d much rather be close with you.” He smiled and nuzzled me before softly kissing me, deepening the kiss for the first time and I felt nerves coming up. What if I didn’t do it right? But those nerves were quickly replaced with a stomach twisting feeling of excitement. Out of relief, I buried my fingers beneath his shirt. Maybe I was being too forward, but I didn’t care. I had been waiting to touch his body for three years and hadn’t touched anyone else’s either during that whole time. At least, not like this, with feelings.  
But it didn’t seem like he minded, because he lift me off the ground, onto the counter top to hold me closer. I searched for the strength to seize this kiss, we both waited for three years to have each other, I wasn’t planning on rushing into anything right now. But he was such a lovely kisser, I just couldn’t stop. Thankfully, he loosened his lips from mine, pressing our foreheads together. His hand was still on my neck, tracing the flesh in slow circles.   
“I would like to rush, but I know we shouldn’t. Another thing I know is that I just can’t help it but want to taste and feel more of you, right now.” His voice sounded hoarse all of a sudden, the sound made me shudder unto my core.   
“I wish for the same thing, but I want to slow down with this. We have both been waiting for three years and I don’t want to rush this and mess it all up within days. And I really love my job, so I don’t want to be needing to find a new job sometime soon. But you are very welcome to join Bryan and me tonight. We won’t be alone, so we can’t be the dirty couple.” We both laughed and kissed each other once more.   
“Does this mean I am mr. Addams from now on?”  
“Yes, as long as you do not start being goth as well now. I like you just the way you are.” He smiled a smug smile and nodded his head.   
“I think that can be arranged. I love those clothes on you, but I am just not the kind of guy for that. Way too sophisticated for me. And I wouldn’t want to come in between Bryan and you, you two are best friends, I shouldn’t be a jealous boyfriend from the start and control everything you do. And I don’t want to change into one either. You have a fun night with him, okay?”   
I nodded with a smile and jumped off the counter and reached into the display to grab one of the muffins, I had forgotten to make a sandwich, again. Joshua snorted and I shrugged.  
“What? I baked for more than a week yesterday, can I at least have one? I need to taste what I made, don’t I?” He just grinned and shook his head, before he took out his sandwiches from the kitchen, with two coffees in his other hand. I took one and drank it down slowly. We talked during the rest of our break and reopened shop after we had been snogging in the kitchen for fifteen minutes. Too bad we still had half a day’s work to go through. It was an easy afternoon, but it mostly was on a Friday. Just when I had wanted to go into the kitchen to start baking more because we were almost through carrot cakes and pumpkin cake, was when Lance came in. He was both a friend from Josh and me. He grinned at me and I ran into his embrace.  
“Oh my gods, Lance! You haven’t been here in forever, how have you been? And why haven’t you called, emailed or texted me? You are the worst friend ever.”   
“I know, I am sorry, doll face. I had my reasons though. I wasn’t in the country and did not bring my laptop with me. Calling and texting was way too expensive.”  
“Josh, hon? Lance is here! Could you come out of the cellar for a minute?” Lance turned me around and looked into my eyes all surprised.   
“Josh? Hon? How long have I been away, a decade? When did you two hook up? Oh and, FINALLY girlfriend, word up!” He high-fived me and hugged Josh when he finally came upstairs. The three of us sat down at the nearest table, after I gave Lance some cake and coffee. I sat down on Josh’s lap, who went white. I sighed and poked his cheek.  
“He knows, so just relax, you idiot. Besides, it would have been the most awesome surprise.” Josh still didn’t seem too sure of this, but he did sigh beneath me. Lance grinned and bumped his shoulder with a fist.  
“Well done, my friend. You finally caught her. Or the other way around. But when did this happen?” Josh finally put his arms around me and I kissed his temple, while I hooked my arms around his shoulders. He turned to watch the clock and turned back.  
“About six hours ago. Let’s just say the right words can open up the right direction in someone’s head. Also, best friends. Male best friends. They open up eyes like you wouldn’t know.”  
“Oh man, I should have come in earlier. I would have brought confetti and balloons. But to answer your question Lena, I was in Europe. I went to visit one of my aunts and there I met the perfect guy. We clicked from the first moment and… I am kind of engaged now.” I wanted to scream, until I remembered I was kinda in Josh’s ear. So I decided on squealing instead and getting up to hug Lance again.  
“I am so happy for you! I am so glad you finally found a good guy instead of all those assholes you’ve been with. So… Now we are probably gonna lose you to Europe, I guess? Or is he going to move here?”  
“He is coming to live here. He has his own company, but he has been planning on opening a couple of his stores here, so it turns out to be perfect. He will be here in like two weeks, so you will get to know him soon enough. And yes, you are permitted to read him. I don’t want to be messed up by a guy again.” I understood that fully, we both had been heartbroken a lot over the years we had known each other. But the last three years I had been obsessed by Joshua and it previously made me sick that I could not even like another guy, let alone go out on dates with others. So I was very happy we finally got that resolved and my three years of waiting hadn’t been for nothing.   
“So, what are you doing tonight? Bryan is coming over, he is coming to pick me up here, so you are welcome to join us tonight. He has been asking my butt off about you. You could surprise him.” A customer came in at that moment, so I quickly went behind the counter and helped him, but soon more and more people started to come in. when I watched the clock I saw it was 5 PM, so now I knew why it was so busy all of a sudden. In just one hour Bryan would be here. Both Josh and Lance had to help me out, there were so many customers inside all of a sudden. When they finally left, we could get back to talking again.   
“So, to get back to your invitation, I would love to come over, but my parents are expecting me, so I will have to take a rain check on that. I will stay until Bryan is here, so I can say hi and we will get together later this week, if you don’t mind?”  
“Totally fine babe. Just remember that we cannot do Mario Karts with just two of us. You will have to be the Mario again this time. And you are going to pitch in too, Josh.”   
“What happened to hon in that sentence?” Josh asked with a big pout. Lance laughed and hit his shoulder with a shake of his head.  
“Mario Kart is serious business, man. Look into those eyes, you will see what I mean.”  
“I am afraid I see totally different things when I look into her eyes, dude. But I see your point. Of course I will, captain. I will be the best Mario Karter around.” He saluted and with a smile I kissed him when he took me in his arms. We sat down again and talked until Bryan finally arrived. When he came inside and saw me on Josh’s lap, he sat himself down on his knees in front of us and folded his hands together.   
“Sweet baby Jesus, thank you. The whining about this man has finally stopped because they love each other. Thank you God, thank you ever so much.” When he saw Lance was in, he greeted him with a squeal and hugged him. “Lance, you are back in the land of the living! Never ever disappear like that again. Both Lena and I were worried about you. I even got Jessica worried about you. Are you gonna go with us tonight? We are making homemade pizzas?”  
“I am afraid not, I will have to go to my parents first. But if you get your schedule out now, we can set a date with the four of us, because we really need to get together. Helena, we also need to go shopping together. I am dying to get dragged into all these stupid American goth stores by you again. It is probably the main thing I have missed in Europe. I saw all these stores there, stacked to the ceiling with stuff for you, in your size. So naturally I loaded a suitcase with that, you can thank me in several ways later on, when you unpack it.” Lance waved me away when I sat on my knees for him to pretend kiss his hand. I snickered, got up and sat down on Josh’s lap again.   
“And I will probably drag Jessica along as well, because Helena wants to see her. And she wants to see Helena as well. I texted her about tonight and she feels so bad that she can’t be there, but she made me promise you that she was going to make up for it.”  
“Aw, tell her not to worry, I will make her. Hold on, I’ll text her myself right now. Well then, shall we head home, because I am STARVING. And those Disney movies won’t watch themselves, you know.” I turned my head up to Josh and kissed him thoroughly, Lance and Bryan were talking anyway. “Are you sure you won’t tag along with us? We will have enough pizza to feed an entire army?” He shook his head and kissed me again.   
“I am sure. Now go, before I change my mind about that jealous boyfriend stuff. I will see you tomorrow. Don’t be late, please be early. We have a lot of things to go over, as I am sure you know.”   
I chuckled, I laughed a lot today. And when I concentrated, I didn’t feel that annoying void as much anymore. I kissed him back and let him go to grab my coat and my bag. I hooked my arm through Bryan’s and we walked to his car. He helped me in first before he went to the driver’s seat and I already had taken Squeak on my lap and out of his box. He immediately stopped flitting around and settled on my chest to purr and then sleep.   
“You and animals. Really now. But hey, congratulations on the conquest! I guess no more sexy times with your two most favourite porn stars in the world, right?” He said with a grin while we drove off. We still had a half hour drive, seeing getting round by car was more difficult here than by public transportation.  
“Haha, no, probably not. Unless he is there. And thinks it is a good idea. But no. Not now, I am afraid. But I’d gladly trade it for a relationship with him really. We can still eat bad food, annoy the cats and watch stupid movies together.”  
“Hah, I don’t blame you sweetie. But if he ever wants to pitch in with the three of us, he is more than welcome. I mean, you know how badly Jessica loves touching you. And watching us do it.”  
“Dude, I know! I feel the same. If he knew that you and her are both porn stars he will go back to jealous boyfriend without even thinking about it twice. But still… He is what I have wanted for a long time and I don’t wanna trade that for anything in the world.” We both laughed out loud but then went silent for the moment. I’d rather have him concentrate on the road and the madmen that could kill us here than on a stupid conversation. I opted to nap together with Squeak for the time being.   
Arriving at my apartment building, I gave him the card key for the garage and we went upstairs with the elevator. I unlocked my front door and quickly lit a couple of candles, I hated my electric lights during cozy nights in. “Please don’t look at the mess, I hadn’t had the time to clean last night. I was at the coffee shop baking. All night long. And this morning I was a sad puppy and listening to N Sync, so if you do not want to make your ears bleed, I suggest you first put another CD in that *-player on the screen. Oh hello there Otto! Did you decide to show yourself already, your Lordship? Here, play with Squeak and be nice for him, because I will slap your butt if you go al berserk on him again, got it?”  
My cat protested, but did do as I asked him for a change. And when he was done playing, he grabbed Squeak in his mouth and laid down with him against his belly in his sleeping basket. I shook my head at them and went into the kitchen, where Bryan was already cutting vegetables. “Honestly, why can they do it now and normally it is WWIII in my living room? Scoot over, I am going to help you with that. You have been ‘working’ all day long.” He laughed over my first remark and shook his head at the second, pushing me back with his elbow.  
“Oh no, you don’t. You have been working way too much the last two days, I am doing this. I could even bang you all night long now, I’ve got that much energy. And yes, I am sure. Sit your butt down on that chair over there and just watch my godlike being instead. And grab us two beers, if you are on your way over there.” I smiled and did grab two beers, but went into the living room with mine first, to put on some music and headed back into the kitchen, sitting down on the counter top, crossing my legs. I watched him being a total chef and grinned when I saw him swallow. I opened his beer for him and handed it to him when he took a pause, stretching his back. Cocking my head, I smiled at him sweetly and batted my eyelashes.  
“I thought you banged girls for a living? And now you get back pain from a little vegetable cutting?”  
“Yes, I do. And I thought you said no more sex? Because if you still feel like that, please change into your teddy bear PJ’s for me. This look isn’t doing any good for my drive. I just might forget about both my promise and my back ache.” I grinned, drank down some of my beer and got off the counter and already started to take off my dress. He had seen more than enough over the past few years, so it was odd to start feeling weird over it now. I heard a low growl behind me, so I quickly did what he said and even grabbed my pink bunny slippers and put them on. I came back into the kitchen and sat back down on my spot on the counter.   
“Is this doing anything to bring that drive down to zero, mister?”  
“Heaps of nothing. I wish I didn’t star in so many porn movies. Everything can and will turn me on. Damn it. I am going to knead that dough now, before I break your kitchen with my boner.”  
“This is one of the more awkward conversations we have ever had. So, how was your day and which beautiful woman did you fuck today?” Bryan started to knead and roll out the pizza dough, while I got the sauce out of the fridge.  
“Kayden Kross was my homie today, we had a lot of fun, we had to retake everything three times because the camera man first forgot to change tapes and then the producer forgot to put in the sound. We still don’t have everything on tape, so we will have to do a lot again on Monday.”  
“Oh you poor thing. Having sex with beautiful women is a heavy duty. And wow, Kayden Kross. She is so beautiful. There are only a couple of women and even less women in your working field I would die to have in bed, just once. They make me wish I was a porn star instead of a coffee shop waitress.”  
“You could. You have the body and the looks, plus big boobs, so yay. But I guess fucking men all day long doesn’t really appeal to you. There is really nothing much erotic about it most of the time and absolutely nothing intellectual. Even though I really fucking love my job. God, Lena. Can’t you text Josh to just fucking come over and tell him we need to have a threesome like now? I am not even interested in those pizzas anymore and you know how much I love your pussy…pizza sauce.”  
“No, Bri! Now stop trying to seduce me, because you are doing a good job. Too good. Remember what I said in the car. Now may I please dress up my pizza?” He nodded and I poured the sauce on both pizza bottoms and he grated cheese in the meantime. We both stuffed our pizza with a stack of vegetables, meat and cheese and put them in the oven. I was so happy to have a huge oven in this small kitchen. We sat down on the couch and I switched on the TV, grabbing the first Disney I could find on the shelf. When it was up and running, I sat down in Bryan’s arms and threw a blanket over the both of us and crawled into him with a sigh. He cuddled up with me and kissed my forehead, causing me to look up at him and he smiled at me.  
“So, I heard you say you were a sad puppy this morning? What was going on? You know I am going to force it out of you, I don’t want my best bitch to be sad at all. So spill them beans, girl.” I laughed and cuddled back into his arms, I really didn’t want to look him in the eyes, he could stare so confrontational if he wanted to.   
“I don’t really know. I have these periods in my life when I think I am too ugly to even exist, too stupid and boring to get a boyfriend and I am going to end up all alone. But that was this morning. Now things are finally working out for me, I dunno… When Josh kissed me, something just fell into place in my heart. All that yearning hasn’t been for nothing this time and that makes me feel such a calm on the inside. I am almost afraid to say it, but I feel… happy. Really happy.” Bryan snickered and hugged me, before he got up to check on the pizzas. When they were done, he quickly threw them both on plates and brought them into the living room, sliced and ready. He snuggled back up next to me and we went on watching the movie, crunching our way through it. When we both were finished, I snuggled back up with him after he cleaned our plates up. I was happy to still feel comfortable with him, I was afraid that would change, but thank the gods it didn’t.   
But somewhere during the movie, Bryan didn’t seem to care that much anymore that I now had a boyfriend. He turned my head to him and started kissing me and to my shame I had to confess I kissed him back and sat down in his lap, to get closer to him. His hands had slipped beneath my PJ top and were stroking upwards to my chest. Only then was when I realized what I was doing, quickly shot up and claimed that I had to go to the toilet really bad. I just sat there for a couple of minutes and when I eventually went back to him, he was in a foul mood a little bit, even though he tried to hide it from me. “I don’t understand why everything has to change now you have a boyfriend. Jessica and I are together as well and we still both like to have sex with you.”  
“That is kind of different, you are both porn stars. You already fuck with other people for a living. Neither me or Josh are porn stars and I just don’t want to betray his trust the first night straight away.”  
“He isn’t even here, he doesn’t know anything about it!”  
“Look, Bri, I am still attracted to you, I just really want this relationship to work. And when I keep on having sex with you and Jess, I can’t. You know me, you know me unto the bone, so please bear with me, okay? Let me just… do this my way. And do me a favor and don’t tell anyone about it. I will tell Josh when I am ready. Please?”  
‘I still don’t understand why…” But before he could finish his sentence my doorbell rang, so I went to see who was there and it was Josh. It almost scared the living hell out of me, until I remembered it was alright now and that this would happen way more often from now on. I opened the door and painted a broad smile on my face for him, even though I was still mad at Bryan.  
“I am sorry to barge in after all, but I realized I was going to be alone at home and on a Friday night which is kinda dull, while there were two perfectly nice people in this apartment. I brought beer?” When he held it up like it had to be a peace offering, I giggled and kissed him. I let him in and put the beer in the fridge, bringing out three cold ones, handing one to the both of them.  
“Don’t be sorry, hon, I asked you to come, so you are more than welcome. I can at least introduce you two properly now. Bri, this is Joshua, Josh, this is Bryan. Now shake hands and open those beers, because I want to get back to my silly movie now. Oh Josh, do you want some pizza, we still have more than enough left over?” When he confirmed, I quickly reheated a large piece in the oven and heard the two were talking but all of a sudden the talking started to heat up a bit, or it just sounded like that to me. I decided not to get involved right now, they were two adult men, they could figure it out without my help. When the pizza was finished, I put it on a plate and went back inside, finding two screaming men on my couch. They didn’t even hear me coming into the living room and it ticked me off that they were fighting in my house. I put down the pizza and crossed my arms in front of my chest.  
“Hey! That is quite enough! Someone please care to explain what the fuck happened in the fucking three minutes I wasn’t here?” They both jumped a bit and fell silent, both heads red as beets. I raised one of my eyebrows as a sign I was still waiting for an explanation from the both of them. Joshua sighed and started to explain.   
“He just plain out told me what has been going on between you two and his girlfriend and asked permission to proceed like you guys were used to and I cracked.” I snapped my head into Bryans’ direction and could strangle him on the spot.  
“What the hell did you do that for? I told you only ten minutes ago I can’t do it anymore. What is the matter with you? You plan on shooting this down before I can do it myself, or what?”  
“He also told me you had been kissing each other before I arrived.” I sighed and was really ready to throw something heavy at my best friends face, but thankfully I had enough self control to refrain myself from such actions. I didn’t want to end up being a murderer as well.  
“Yes, he started kissing me, I kissed back and then cut it off. That’s it. I have to be honest it is weird to just quit all that intimacy, but I want to for you. I slipped once and it will not happen again, because I do not want it. I really don’t want you to up and leave right away, Josh. And I am so fucking sorry that it even happened, I told him this was it for me. But apparently some people can’t keep their bloody mouth shut or to themselves when I ask them to, three times. I had wanted to tell you later on what had been transpiring before we got together.”  
“Why were you even having sex with him? And his girlfriend?”  
“Because I trust them, I care for the both of them and it was the only intimacy I could handle. Since I started working for you, I haven’t dated anyone because I wanted you, couldn’t even like anyone but you and this was the only way to have some fun, share something with people I care for and ease my frustrations. I don’t see what is wrong about that. Please Josh, I didn’t even know it would happen, can we just… scratch this night and get on with where we started this morning?” He sighed and put his face in his hands and sat like that for quite a while. I was even afraid to sit in between the two of them and when he just wouldn’t say anything, I went back into the kitchen. I needed to release myself from the deadly silence in the other room, I would hear soon enough what he thought about it. I heard Josh and Bryan talking again, softer this time. I hoped it was safe enough to go back in there and both looked like nothing just happened when I did. They were laughing together over the movie, beer in hand. I couldn’t believe either of them, but I went to sit in between, I didn’t want any more trouble. Josh put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me against his side, Bryan took my legs onto his lap and they both were watching the movie and laughing.   
“I can’t believe you two, honest to my soul. How can you act like nothing happened and just sit here and laugh, drink and eat? How? Did I miss something?” Bryan and Josh exchanged glances together and both looked away again.   
“Bryan and I came to an agreement, yes. So don’t you worry about anything, just watch the movie, baby.”  
“Don’t I get to know what that agreement might be? I really don’t feel right about this.”  
“Oh you will in due time, baby. Don’t worry.” Josh said and kissed the top of my head, still gnawing on his pizza. I sighed but sat down between the two men more comfortable, so I could try and take my mind off this really weird situation. It seemed like it wasn’t going to happen, until I drank two more beers and I finally just let it go. For now anyway. We already had watched three Disney movies and I was getting tired of it, so I switched the last one off and before I could put in a new DVD, I felt lips on my neck and hands crossing over my stomach. I thought Bryan had left for the toilet and Josh wanted to feel me, but when I turned around, I found Bryan there. I yelped and jumped, seeing Josh on the couch, grinning at me. I shook my head and removed Bryan’s arms from my waist, moving away from them both.  
“Please don’t tell me this is your solution. Damn it Bryan, I told you I had to quit completely with you if I want this to stay good. Why did you talk him into something like this?” Josh got up from the couch and stood behind me, holding me tight. Bryan closed the distance between us again and kissed me, then I felt Josh’s lips on my neck. I had to admit this was fucking erotic, but on the other hand I really didn’t want it to happen like this, so I quickly pushed them both away and put my hand over my mouth while I turned away from them. Trying to catch my breath, I shook my head and turned back. “I am sorry, I can’t do this. At least… not now. Please, try to understand, the both of you. Josh, I… I really want our first time to be just us and I certainly don’t want it this fast, even if we have known each other forever. And Bri… I love you, you know I do. But I don’t like the idea of being shared by my boyfriend and my best friend ánd my other best friend. I just can’t.”  
“It was my idea, Lena. Not Bryan’s. I thought this would make it easier for you guys. Because I really love you and I know you love me back. You don’t have to tell me that. But I do understand you love them both and you share so much. Even if I don’t really think it is the best idea I ever had, I don’t want to lose you, so sharing seemed like a better option. As long as you come home to me and talk to me about everything I am cool with it. Honestly. But if you don’t want this, or for now, I understand and we will just call it off.” When he said the word love two times, it scared me at first, but he was right. We both had been in love with each other for so long… This wasn’t just liking each other anymore. And I thought it was awesome he wanted to do this, but if I wanted him to stay, I just had to say no.   
“I don’t want this. I’m sorry, Bryan, I really am. But I told you and you had made peace with it earlier on. All of a sudden you claim that you can’t live with that anymore? That makes you less of a friend than I need. And I really want you as my best friend. Forever. So please, will you think about this?” Bryan nodded, but turned into his coat and put his socks and shoes back on.  
“I understand, Lena. But I need to go and think about this at home. I will call you in the morning. Can Squeak stay here with you for the weekend? I really need to rethink everything, without that little bastard playing his antics on me.” I nodded and hugged him. I was happy to feel he did hug me back, but it was brief and it felt odd. Odder than usually, anyhow. He gave Josh a hand, kissed my cheek and was gone just like that. I sighed and closed the door behind him, turning around and staring at Josh.   
“I really don’t believe it was all your idea, Josh… I mean, I really do love you, as you had thought, but I want to belong only to you. Not to you and Bryan alike.” He walked towards me and enclosed me in his arms, kissing my nose.   
“That is really all I wanted to hear from you, baby.” I giggled and stroked through his hair with my hands, trying to get his face closer to mine at the same time.  
“Ah, so this was a setup? Naughty boy. But I do think I deserve a thorough kiss and touch now though, because I was a good girl and decided for the best option, which is you.” Josh laughed and pushed his warm lips on mine, his arms gathered me up from the ground and put me down on the couch. He quickly turned off the TV and put on some music, before walking back to me and throwing himself on top of my body.   
“Shall we go to bed? Because I am exhausted now, this was a weird day. And I still want to talk about this. Because I don’t know how to handle situations like this that good.” Josh chuckled and got up, pulling me with him. Turning off all the lights, I pointed him in the direction of the bedroom, so I could do some last clean ups, seeing there were two cats in my home. For tonight, Squeak could sleep in the bedroom with us. I knew I was not going to be in the mood to stop a fight if they would go at it in the middle of the night. When I was finished, I kissed Otto, who purred and went to his usual sleeping spot on the couch, in his blankets. I smiled at my darling cat and grabbed Squeak while walking towards the bedroom.   
Josh was already in the bed, in just his boxers, waiting for me with his head on his hand. Putting Squeak down on the bed, I got out of my pajamas and braided my hair, hearing Josh clear his throat. I turned my head and saw him lying there quite… uncomfortable. I batted my eyelashes and went over to the bed. I crawled next to him in all my nakedness, kissing him deeply.  
“And you expect me to be able to sleep with you next to me like that?”  
“Yes?”  
“You’re a nasty woman.”  
“I know, thanks for the compliment.” We kissed again, but I felt him yawn against my mouth. I nestled myself in his arms, closing my eyes.  
“Goodnight, babe.”  
“Goodnight, sweetheart.”  
The next morning my phone rang way too early, so I moaned when I saw it was Bryan. It was certainly too early for a conversation like that and Joshua was still sleeping next to me, with his arms around me. I decided to pick up the phone and just curse at my best friend for being such an asshole.  
“Morning Bri. I’ve just woken up, so I am not going to be that coherent yet. What’s wrong?”  
“Nothing, why should anything be wrong? I already told you I was going to call you in the morning. Anyway, I wanted to apologize for last night. I acted like an asshole. I was jealous over nothing and I shouldn’t act like that. Please stay friends with me, I really don’t want to lose you over one stupid action of mine.” I turned around and kissed Joshua when I felt him stir.   
“Hon, I am used to you and your antics. You always do things you shouldn’t. But apology accepted for now. But please, say the same thing to Josh as well. You were very unfair last night. You actually frightened me a bit. I have never had you act like that to me ever. I don’t like the way things went last night and I rather want things like that not to happen again. I love you, but if you keep on being an ass and try to put a wedge between me and my boyfriend, I don’t want anything to do with you anymore. Let me be very clear about that. I don’t want to lose you either, because you are my bestest friend in the whole wide world, but not like this. Okay?”  
“I thought you weren’t going to be that coherent in the morning? But yes, okay. I will try and be a good boy from now on. I will come over to pick up Squeak later on today. You two lovebirds have a nice morning together. And Lena?”  
“Yes?”  
“I really love you.”  
“I know, I love you too. Call me before you are coming over for Squeaks. Bye.” Bryan answered and hung up the phone. I huffed and put the phone back on the night stand, turning back around to Josh, whose eyes were opened now. I smiled at him, making him smile lazily back at me. I kissed him softly and stroked his naked chest. He rolled on top of me and thoroughly kissed me back, making me moan under his form. After a long while, he let my mouth go and nuzzled me softly.   
“I like waking up like this. Minus the phone conversation waking me up part. Good morning sweetheart.” I grinned back and caressed his back, kissing his mouth softly.  
“I agree with all of the above. And good morning, my love. You wanna stay in bed a little longer or do you wanna get up and get a cup of my own coffee?”   
“Both are actually very tempting. But let’s opt for the second one before we go too far too fast.” He rolled off of me and got up, changing into his sweatpants, making me pout at his back. I got up as well and got into my bathrobe, walking to the kitchen while he went to the bathroom. When I opened the bedroom door, I was met by Otto, who mewled at me and rubbed himself on my leg. I lift him up off the ground and kissed his head, stroking his chin and carrying him into the kitchen with me, putting him down on a chair. I made the coffee and some sandwiches and sat down on the couch when everything was finished. Josh came out, freshly showered and I handed him the coffee. He immediately took a big gulp, even though it was still piping hot. But he just yawned and put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me to his side. I smiled and drank from my own coffee, putting my head down on his chest. It was so wonderfully peaceful to sit next to him like this. I could get really used to this.


End file.
